Embracing Power

Can I have an honest conversation with you about power?

It’s incredible how one little word can generate fear in people. Just reading the word probably stirred something in you. Maybe a slight hesitation? Perhaps a little voice saying, “Isn’t it a bit… much to talk about power?” Or maybe you’re thinking about all those times you’ve seen power wielded in ways that pissed you off or made you cringe.

Trust me, I get it. For years, I danced around my own power like it was a contagion. Even during some of my most successful moments or career highs, I sometimes caught myself apologizing for having strong opinions, for being “too much, or for sitting idle and quiet. (Sound familiar?)

But here’s the thing – and this is the heart of what I want to share with you – embracing your power isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about fully becoming yourself.

When I developed The ELL Factor framework, Embracing Power emerged as one of the foundational pillars for a reason. Think of it this way: your brilliance, vision, potential, and innate authority are like a high-performance car. When you don’t embrace them, you can’t deliver the full impact; it’s like having that top-notch car but never turning the ignition key.

Owning your power is about recognizing your right to lead or make decisions you’ve had all along. It’s about presence, turning up the volume on your authentic voice, taking up the space you deserve, and using your influence in ways that align with your values. Whether leading a Fortune 500 company or building your side hustle from your kitchen table, understanding and embracing your power isn’t optional – it’s essential.

Point in case

Years ago, I had a colleague who worked her butt off to get her dream promotion. That day had finally come, and she made it to the corner office (the one with those fancy floor-to-ceiling windows). She had been promoted to Sr.Vice President of Product. After fifteen years of climbing that corporate ladder, she had finally “made it.”

I was proud of her, and I thought she would be excited and ready to jump in and get moving, but I noticed she wasn’t as engaged as I thought she would be. I later discovered that during the leadership meetings, she wasn’t speaking up. When questions came up about her strategy – “her strategy,” mind you – she let her colleagues do all the talking. And this wasn’t a one-time thing. Even with all her experience, all those successful launches under her belt, and that impressive title, she was still waiting for someone to give her permission to be… well, herself.

Does this ring any bells? Have you ever found yourself in a new role, with all the skills and experience you need, but still hesitating to step up? No shame, we’ve all been there.

So I had lunch with her, and we talked about this time when the shit really hit the fan. A competitor launched a similar product two months before scheduled, while our project fell behind. And how, without even thinking about it, she just… took charge. Reorganized timelines, got the team fired up, and completely pivoted their strategy. And you know what? That “delayed” launch ended up being her biggest success.

I reminded her that she didn’t need anyone’s permission to lead then, and she didn’t need it now. Her power was there all along—she just needed to recognize it.

We’re (women) walking around thinking power is this thing we need to be given – through titles, gold stars, or someone else’s approval. But that’s not how it works at all. Power isn’t some limited resource we need to fight over. It’s not a crown someone has to place on your head. It’s already inside you, just waiting for you to recognize it.

Think about it – whenever you’ve trusted your gut, spoken up about something that wasn’t right, or chosen the more arduous but right path, that was your power in action. You don’t need permission to execute your innate authority.

This “permission paradox” (yeah, I made that up, but it fits), where we keep waiting for the perfect moment, the proper title, or enough people to validate us before we step into our power, is a chokehold. You’ll never get anything done if you don’t let it go. So, here’s my motto and feel to steal it:

One last thing. There’s a big difference between power and force. Force? That’s all about pushing and controlling and manipulating. But real power? That comes from aligning with your values, knowing your purpose, and being authentic. It’s not about dominating the room – it’s about being fully present in it.

Because every time you shrink yourself to make others comfortable, defer when you should lead, and stay quiet when you should speak up – you’re not just shortchanging yourself. You’re depriving the world of your unique perspective and capabilities.

Remember my former colleague? Her power didn’t magically appear with that fancy title – it was there all along, just waiting to be claimed. And yours is too, right now, in this moment.

So, are you ready to claim it?