Let’s Get Real About Work-Life Balance. It’s Not What You Think.
The Reality Is Different
There, I said what I’m sure most of us have realized: there is no such thing as work-life balance. Is it bullshit? Not quite. But it’s an old concept that’s been:
– Promoted for years
– Doable (they said)
– Never achievable (reality check)
The 50/50 Fallacy
When we talk about balance, we think of everything being equal. Balance in the context of work and life implies a perfect 50/50 split between the two. But we all know that’s not how life works.
Consequently, balance doesn’t exist, even though it was promoted and propped up as the solution to enable us to hold down careers and continue as the primary manager of the family and home responsibilities.
We’ve been taught to believe that work and life should somehow weigh equally (or close enough so we don’t notice), like neatly divided pie slices. Have you ever cut a pie into equal slices? I’ve never, especially when it was my favorite. Whatever the reason, everything isn’t divided equally, and life works the same. How we divide our time between work and life is almost always a mismatch.
I gave up my quest for work-life balance years ago in favor of a more realistic approach—integration. Think IT systems, they have:
- Limited resources
- Multiple demands
- And require continuous improvement
When integrating systems, processes, etc., I examined all the components that interact and share the same resources. Monitoring and prioritization allow me to continuously improve the allocation of these shared resources without sacrificing one system for another.
Adopting this approach as a practice helped to make my life feel more fulfilling and in control than out of control.
Look at it this way…
Your life = two interconnected systems
1. Work
2. Personal
They make demands on your limited resources:
– ⏰ Time
– 🔋 Energy
– 🎯 Focus
Like integrating IT systems, the game plan is to monitor, prioritize, and adjust them as warranted. Some days, work will require more attention; Other days, your personal life takes priority, and that’s perfectly okay. Continually adjusting the amount of time, energy, and focus you exert puts you in control and creates alignment (not balance).
Alignment is better than balance because it’s achievable and ensures your professional ambitions and personal joys work together rather than constantly competing. When aligned, there’s also more flexibility, allowing your life’s personal and professional aspects to coexist and flow harmoniously.
Let’s pause for a second. Work-life balance has been promoted for years as the cure-all for employee stress, burnout, improved health, productivity, and other benefits. Now, I’m asking you to let go of that ideal and rethink it. So, I’m curious.
- How are you feeling about work-life balance right now?
- As you’ve worked towards balancing work and life, do you feel it’s really been working for you, or do you think shifting your focus to alignment might be more beneficial?
There’s no right or wrong answer.
Maybe:
– Your career is on fire, and it lights you up. Personal time might not be as important and can take a backseat for a while.
– You’re craving more time for yourself, your family, or your passions, and work can afford to take a bit of a step back.
Either way, what’s important is that you’re clear on what you want and understand that chasing balance means dividing things into two strictly defined, equal, unyielding parts. I point that out because, truthfully, we are not here to balance work and life—we’re here to be fulfilled (that’s a spiritual truism).
The days of forcing equal time for both are over. You deserve a fluid, ever-evolving relationship between your career and personal life so one doesn’t constantly overshadow the other. Work and life will flipflop, each taking turns needing a little extra. What matters is that you bring these two together in a way that feels right for you.
Mindset: Partners, Not Opponents
Look at work and life as partners, not opponents. What brings you joy in one area can enhance the other. Let’s say you enjoy traveling. How can you incorporate that passion into your career? Consider taking trips (even one-day getaways) that recharge you and make you more productive when you return. Don’t think of it as escaping work; see it as integrating experiences that enrich your life.
One More Thing. Become Selful, it’s a game changer!
Being selful is a different way of thinking. Although I jokingly say,” selful is the new selfish,” it’s not really.
Being selful is about:
– Prioritizing YOU without neglecting the people or responsibilities around you.
– Regular self-check-ins.
– Asking: “What do I need to be my best today?”
When practicing selfulness, work, and life, stop fighting. Instead, you focus on what makes you feel fulfilled, energized, and ready to tackle both.
Is Work-Life Balance Possible?
The short answer? Nope (at least not in the traditional sense). You’ll never split your time perfectly between work and life, and that’s not what you should shoot for.
The real challenge and reward: INTEGRATION.
Weaving the things that bring joy, fulfillment, and rest into your personal and professional lives.
There will be periods where you will have to lean into your career.
There will also be times when you will (and should) step back to focus on yourself, your family, or your passions.
The takeaway is that you are no longer chasing an impossible balance ideal. Instead, you create an environment where work and life complement each other rather than competing for your attention. That’s what the “Beyond Work-Life Balance” blog is all about.
Okay, one more thing before I get off my soap box.
Start With What You Really Want
Get clear on what you really want. Do you want that elusive 50/50 split between work and life? Or are you ready to redefine balance as something more fluid that grows and shifts as you do?
We can have it all, but it differs from how society tells us to. It just takes finding a rhythm that works for you.
Ready to dive deeper? Check out the blog’s Being Selful and Travel and Leisure sections to discover more ways to integrate joy, rest, and fulfillment into your life.
