How It Can Sabotage Your Money Moves

Scroll through your favorite social app, and it won’t take long before you’re hit with gleaming designer bags, perfectly curated daily routines, and endless unboxings for high-priced items. It’s luxury spending on full display. Everyone’s glowing, sipping from crystal glasses, draped in name-brand wear and silk robes—and if you’re not careful, you’ll start wondering if you’re behind.

The problem? That temptation comes at a cost, and for too many women, the cost is steeper than it looks. What starts as indulgence can quietly turn into a financial problem.

Journalist Jasmine Browley recently explored this growing issue in her insightful Essence article, “How Social Media’s Haul Culture Traps Black Women In Debt.” While her piece focuses specifically on the pressures faced by Black women, the message applies to many. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have made luxury spending feel like an everyday self-care ritual. However, when those purchases lead to mounting debt, the “soft life” can get really hard, really fast.

The Soft Life Isn’t Always Soft On Your Wallet

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no stranger to enjoying the finer things in life. I love a touch of luxury, but for me, that doesn’t mean spending mindlessly. I lean toward the premium price point, choosing quality over quantity. I don’t buy everything that I see, like, or want. Instead, I make intentional choices.

If something isn’t meaningful or useful to me, I pass. In fact, I’ll forgo the trendy splurges and unnecessary buys so I have the money to spend on what matters most. It’s all about the “give to get” mindset, sacrificing what doesn’t serve me to invest in what truly does. That’s my version of luxury, and it’s a whole lot more satisfying than chasing every viral must-have.

But the “I deserve it” mentality? That’s where things get tricky.

The Danger of “I Work Hard, I Deserve It”

The desire to reward yourself is real. After a long week, a stressful job, or even a personal win, the impulse to treat yourself is strong. And hey, you do deserve nice things! But there’s a fine line between treating yourself and sabotaging your financial progress.

Social media feeds that mentality. When influencers are showing off shopping hauls and weekend getaways, it’s easy to justify splurges with the classic “life is short.” Suddenly, that $300 bag or last-minute trip feels like a reasonable reward. However, if those decisions are made impulsively, without considering your financial goals, that indulgence can quickly become a burden.

I’ve been there. And the worst part? Once the thrill of the purchase wears off, the bill remains.

Why Do We Feel the Pressure

For generations, we (women) have faced financial inequality. From the gender pay gap to limited opportunities for wealth building. So when we finally get a taste of success, the pressure to show that success is heavy.

Social media only amplifies that. The image of the “luxury girl” — always polished and always in designer outfits or accessories has become a status symbol. And for some, keeping up that image can mean overspending just to “look the part.” The irony? While we’re out here curating the perfect aesthetic, our financial goals are often taking a backseat.

Redefine the Meaning of “What You Deserve”

What if you shifted your thinking from “I work hard, I deserve it” to “I work hard, I deserve financial peace”? Luxury isn’t just about what you own; it’s about how free you feel. You still get to treat yourself, but maybe your reward isn’t a designer bag.

Maybe it’s hitting a savings goal, taking a paid-for vacation, or waking up knowing your bills are covered with money left over. That’s my kind of luxury!

Reclaim Your Financial Power

If you’ve been caught in the spending spiral, it’s not too late to shift gears. Here’s how you can start making empowered money moves:

• Pause Before You Purchase: Ask yourself, “Is this adding value to my life, or is it just adding to someone else’s wallet?” If it’s the latter, pass.
• Set a Splurge Budget: Treat Yourself Intentionally. Create a monthly “fun money” budget that doesn’t throw your finances off track.
• Unfollow the FOMO: Curate your feed. If specific influencers are making you feel like your life isn’t enough without a luxury haul, it might be time to mute or unfollow.
• Define Your Own Luxury: Maybe your version of luxury is taking a personal day without guilt, traveling debt-free, or seeing your savings account grow. Own that.

At the end of the day, true luxury isn’t a handbag or a trip to Bali; it’s financial freedom. It’s the peace of knowing that your money works for you, not the other way around. So before you hit “add to cart” on that viral high-priced item, ask yourself: Is this really what I deserve? Or am I giving up something even better?

The choice is yours. And trust me, when you’re making smart money moves that actually grow your wealth instead of draining it, that’s a flex no one can compete with.

For more insights on the impact of haul culture, check out Jasmine Browley’s full article on Essence.com.

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