You know that phrase, “life be lifing”?
Yeah.
Well, now it’s my turn to say life has been lifing.
I’ve been quiet for the past several months because I was leading and managing a conference, and somewhere along the way, it started consuming almost every waking moment I had. And honestly? It was worth it. The event was successful, people had a great experience, and I’m proud of what was accomplished.
But whew… it definitely reminded me how easy it is to slip back into old habits when life gets demanding.
Not necessarily unhealthy habits in an obvious way. I still went to the gym. I still did yoga. I still tried to hold on to pieces of myself throughout the process.
But one thing I did put on hold was travel.
And for me, travel isn’t just a vacation or an escape. It’s one of the ways I reconnect with myself, especially during stressful seasons. It gives me space to think, breathe, reflect, reset, and just be. And for about three and a half to four months, I barely allowed myself that space because I was so focused on making sure the conference and my leadership responsibilities were handled professionally and done right.
There were a lot of moments where I wanted to just chill, disconnect, or simply do nothing… but mentally, I stayed in work mode.
And that’s really why I haven’t been posting.
Life was happening, responsibilities were responsibility-ing, and I found myself slipping back into that old mindset of pushing through, overfunctioning, and staying in constant “go” mode because that’s what I always used to do.
What this experience reminded me of is something important:
Just because you’ve worked hard to build healthier habits doesn’t mean the old ones completely disappear.
The mind remembers.
Muscle memory is real, and yes, I believe the brain has its own kind of muscle memory too. It remembers who you used to be, how you used to cope, how you used to operate under pressure, and if you’re not careful, you can find yourself functioning on autopilot before you even realize you’ve drifted.
That’s why becoming a more Selful Woman requires more than good intentions.
It requires awareness. Consciousness. Checking in with yourself honestly and often.
Because sometimes the biggest setback isn’t falling apart. It’s slowly abandoning yourself while still appearing high-functioning to everyone else.
And for those of us who are capable, dependable, driven, and used to carrying a lot… that can happen real quietly.
So this post is simply a reminder for you, and honestly, for me too.
Pay attention to the version of yourself that starts showing up when stress increases and responsibilities pile up.
That version may not always be the healed version of you.
Just a reminder.
